it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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