Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
