once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
