Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
