I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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