last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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