so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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