Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
