im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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