One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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