You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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