I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
