dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize