Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
