yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
