I can text with my tongue
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
