So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
