your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
