why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
