I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
