Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
