I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
