I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
