wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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