just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
