haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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