That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
