I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize