Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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