No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
