Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
