His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
that may or may not have been my penis.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
