Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
