No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
