Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
