As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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