just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Floor bacon is actually really good
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
