Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we made out on top of his cat.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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