as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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