What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
