So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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