Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
