garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
