i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
