So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
