My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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