I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize