"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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