would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
