have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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