Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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