We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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