you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
