need another drink. this is the easiest way
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
