he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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