you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
