from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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