Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We are two peas in an std pod
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
