I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
