It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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