I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The Olympian is in my bed
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize