Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
