no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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