What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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